Category Archives: general

My ideal bike would come complete with a foghorn.

So it’s been a while.  Apparently senior year is busy?  I didn’t get the memo. I’m not here to apologize for going MIA though.

Not that MIA.

Not that MIA.

What I really want to talk about is bicycles.  Living on a small, private, liberal arts school campus means everyone has bikes and that the sadly bike-free have to suffer the arduous walk, stumbling around for three extra minutes that could otherwise be saved by exerting more physical effort and having to worry about storing a giant metal object before strolling in to class.

I don’t really have a problem with bikes themselves, as they are a super exercise option and sometimes you look kinda cool on them.

My problem resides with the douches who ride them.  I’m a walker.  I walk to class every day.  And every day I almost get run down by some douche on a bicycle.  They think that since they have stellar mountain bikes that means they can cut corners and speed past, missing me by maybe four inches.  Good god.  It’s even worse if they’re behind you, because you can only hear them right before you narrowly escape bodily harm and it’s scary as fuck.

What gets me is it’s always some bro’d out guy wearing a NorthFace fleece and sunglasses attatched to his head with a string.  Is this the uniform of douchey bike riders?  I have never ever seen a stoner zoom by on his double-wheeled contraption. Hmm.

A nice Halloween costume for a douchey bike rider

A nice Halloween costume for a douchey bike rider

I’m also tired of bike riders complaining of a lack of bike storage on campus (since we aren’t allowed to have them in the outdoor hallways in our apartment buildings or on our porches.  Fire hazard.).  If one more kid whines about how his beautiful thousand dollar bike is going to get rusted if it has to be chained up in the rain, I will murder someone.  Bikes have waterproof coatings on them.  They aren’t going  to rust. Plus you keep oil on all the moving parts so even if it did rust it wouldn’t be irreparable or inconvenient.  Rust.  Bitch, please.

–Meghan

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Filed under bikes, general

IT’S TUESDAY.

Three things:

One) Since I have made the ultimate decision to discontinue membership of my sorority (for a variety of reasons), I need something else to make Tuesdays seem more important.  Used to be, Monday sucked, Tuesday was sorority day, Wednesday was humpday, Thursday was mixer night and Friday was… Friday.  TUESDAY HAS NO MORE SIGNIFICANCE!  Poor Tuesday.  It has been so good to me in the past.  So I’ve decided to do special posts on Tuesday to make up for it’s current lack of meaning.

Two) Tuesday posts will not consist of bitch rants.  Every week we will post about something we LOVE.  It will be amazing and you people better fucking worship it.  Today’s post will be written later this afternoon, after I make 15 friendship bracelets that I promised I’d do by the end of the summer which is oh, a week and a half away.  Long story.

Three) It has come to my attention that this blog got a retarded amount of hits from searches for Miley Cyrus related things.  So.

Cotton is delicious.  Also, sexy.

Cotton is delicious. Also, sexy.

Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus.

-Meghan

PS:  Since this post, about three hours ago, we’ve received 600 hits.  Thank you, Miley.  Maybe there is hope for you yet.

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Filed under announcements, celebrities, general, music

Does anyone find it ironic that the lead singer looks like Jesus? Heh. I just laughed at myself.

I had to do breathing exercises before I started this post.  There are a lot of bands out there today that I don’t like (Dave Matthews, Fall Out Boy, etc) but none of them even come close to rivaling the pure auditory torture that graces my innocent eardrums when a certain band’s music (if one could even call them a band, more like a few homeless old cats meowing in tandem) flies through the air and manifests itself on my radio.  All it takes is hearing the first chord of one of their horribly thrown-together songs (songs?  more like an arrangement of discordance) for me to physically assault the vessel which emits it.

Yes, readers.  I am describing Nickelback.

They need to bathe.

They need to bathe.

I am of the worthy opinion that they are part of a huge conspiracy to destroy the music industry from the inside out.  Well it didn’t work for Erasmus so it better fucking not work for Nickelback!  I don’t understand how people can actually … like them.  All of their songs sound exactly the same, as can be witnessed by this charming website.  REALLY?  They are like a cult!  They get ’em young, they attract young Americans with their filth to ensure that these kids’ musical tastes never evolve past whiny 7th grader!  IT’S HORRIFYING.  Nickelback is like a virus infecting the minds of the weak!  They’re like the crazy fundamentalists who don’t believe in evolution coming to your kindergarden class to BRAINWASH YOU.  They’re like parents who won’t let their young daughters play with dolls so she doesn’t develop a poor body image!

NICKELBACK IS EVERYWHERE.

SAVE YOURSELVES.

-Meghan

PS: I just did a facebook search to see which of my friends listed Nickelback under their favorite music, and it is an EMBARASSING AMOUNT.  I can’t believe this.  I may have to defriend them, and we all know how low that hits below the proverbial belt.

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Filed under celebrities, general, music

Hey Bitches.

What up.  Meghan here.  Soon, this blog will be full of bitching by me and my associate, Carleson.  Background on us?  We’ve been friends for two years, ever since I found him on facebook before his freshman and my sophomore year of college.   We like to drink.  We like to do crazy things, like talk about our plans to sleep in the handicap elevator (though we never actually went through with that).  We are both very opinionated and we have a penchant for very dramatic rants–hence the idea for this blog.  We hope you enjoy reading what we have to say, and if you don’t?  We’ll bitch about you.

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Filed under general